I've had a lot of success from a couple sessions on Pornhub, noticing something that seems like a weirdly intense/familiar turnon, getting curious/confused about it until it clicks that this is a pattern I've been seeking out in multiple contexts.
But it wasn't about safely enjoying the thing - in one case I noticed that the hook was predatory and based on fear in a way that didn't really add up, and I just kept looking at it until I was just kind of sad. Then I was ready to move on.
This can't be done without unconditional self-acceptance, though.
Recently I noticed that a type of attachment-seeky presentation I'd felt attraction to was the same underlying structure as junkie / debt-slave behavior, but I had been taking its representations & promises at face value. Wow did that explain some things.
Turns out my fetish was built on inadequate modeling of counterparty risk!