Compassionate Defetishization by Mindfully Viewing Pornography

I've had a lot of success from a couple sessions on Pornhub, noticing something that seems like a weirdly intense/familiar turnon, getting curious/confused about it until it clicks that this is a pattern I've been seeking out in multiple contexts.

But it wasn't about safely enjoying the thing - in one case I noticed that the hook was predatory and based on fear in a way that didn't really add up, and I just kept looking at it until I was just kind of sad. Then I was ready to move on.

This can't be done without unconditional self-acceptance, though.

Recently I noticed that a type of attachment-seeky presentation I'd felt attraction to was the same underlying structure as junkie / debt-slave behavior, but I had been taking its representations & promises at face value. Wow did that explain some things.

Turns out my fetish was built on inadequate modeling of counterparty risk!

4 thoughts on “Compassionate Defetishization by Mindfully Viewing Pornography

  1. Eli Tyre

    It’s unclear from what you write here if the fetish tends to dissolve or resolve or otherwise disappear, once you figure it out, As a kind of catharsis, or if you come to understand behavior and get some insight, but the behavior remains.

  2. Stanon

    This is a really good idea and I'm confused about not noticing it before. Stay with the stimulus until the initial spike disappears, past the usual window of reward.

  3. Pingback: CPTSD and Attachment | Compass Rose

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