Zvi has responded to my post on education and submission. His post is not so long, and adds a lot.I'd like to pull a representative quote, but the whole thing is so good that I don't know how to do that without quoting about half the post.
I don't know how much of this is Zvi being a better writer than me, and how much is just that he has more skin in the game, but his post is very, very important, and says a lot of what I was trying to say about education and submission much better than I knew how.
I only have one thing to add.
If you have done this to your children, likely it's not your fault. Everyone told you it was the right thing to do. If you have actively participated in doing this to children,likely it's not your fault. Everyone told you that you were helping. Even if you knew that you were doing something wrong, to your or someone else's children, it's likely not your fault - you live in a society that holds their social acceptance and material well being - and their parents' - hostage, to ensure participation in this abuse. Likely you didn't see any better options.
If you are still actively doing this to children, and think it's the right thing to do - you're not the enemy either.
We can't afford scapegoating. The enemy, while blind, is too big, too pervasive. We're too damaged. We're going to have to start helping each other even though we're still playing out patterns from conditioning that tried to persuade us that hurting is helping. We should expect that we're all still confused.
There is only one thing we shouldn't compromise on. We need to talk about this sort of thing. We need to be reporting what we see. And we need to start asking each other for help. We need to talk. The enemy is silence.